Awake
by bensoneames
Summary: Things aren't going so smoothly for Alex at work, and no one can help.


Ron Carver tapped his thumb impatiently, looking over Bobby's head at the clock. Fifteen minutes had passed.

"Are you sure you can't do this without her, detective?" he asked, leaning forward, praying to God that Bobby would just ask him for the search warrant or whatever it was that they needed.

"No, she'll be here...she's never late," he said in a tone that most would confuse as being unsure, but for Bobby, the tone was as confident as they came.

"It's not that I don't believe you, but quite frankly, her tardiness is the reason you are here again today. This meeting was supposed to happen yesterday, but she was late," He replied leaning back into his chair. The phone rang and he picked it up. "Bobby, I have to take this. Call me when we can all get together, okay?" Bobby just nodded and got up to let himself out.

The room was cold and white. It was too white, to the point where looking at the walls for too long gave you a headache. Sitting on the edge of the table, Alex fought the urge to swing her feet. Instead she pulled the gown further over her knees.

"I should have shaved last night," she thought, leaning over to rub her legs, bumpy from the cold air.

A short man waltzed into the room, his hair was ruffled and his shirt underneath his lab coat was wrinkled. Alex cringed; this was not her usual doctor.

"Alexandra," his voice was syrupy sweet, "it's so nice to see you again. You know, this is such a wonderful thing you are doing for your sister." He told her as he put on a pair of rubber gloves. Alex stared at his hands, and jumped when the glove snapped against his skin.

"Why don't you just lie down, and we can get this over with," he told her, grinning madly. Alex hesitated, but as she saw his smile fade into an irritated stare, she gently eased herself down onto the table.

"That's good, now you just lie still; this won't hurt a bit," he said laughing.

"'the hell!" Alex screamed, trying to sit up, but her arms wouldn't budge.

"Don't you touch me; I swear to God I will arrest your ass. Do not touch me!" She screamed, squirming as much as her body would let her.

"Oh Alexandra, when will you learn," he said quietly as he held a needle to the light, measuring the shiny liquid inside it. "When will you learn?" he repeated jabbing the needle into her stomach. She screamed.

Alex bolted upright in bed, her heart racing and her shirt damp with sweat. Inhaling deeply, she glanced over at her alarm clock which read "8:03".

"Damn it. Not again," she groaned, as she threw the covers back and lifted herself off of the bed, stumbling into the bathroom, getting ready for work as fast as she could.

Every other step she took was quick, almost a jog, as she made her way down the hallway of the eleventh floor, holding the strap of her bag steady on her shoulder. Today was definitely in the running for worst day ever, she thought, recalling the events of the hectic morning. On top of waking up late, all of Alex's clean work clothes seemed to have disappeared, and instead of taking the risk of making everyone at the precinct even more angry, she grabbed the nearest pair of clean jeans and a hooded shirt.

Now she was regretting even thinking about putting on those jeans. Alex wished she would have just grabbed a pair of worn in slacks instead, the looks she was getting were enough to make her want to crawl underneath her desk and hide.

Bobby looked up from the newest book he was reading, and saw Alex walk in. Her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail, making her look about 20 years younger than she actually was. She approached his desk and he cleared his throat.

"Eames?" Bobby asked, almost skeptically.

Alex looked up, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear, and paused, scratching the back of her ear.

"Are you okay?" he asked, trying not to draw attention to the fact that he was staring at her attire, "why didn't you call? We had a meeting with Carver this morning." Bobby reminded her.

Alex reached into her top desk drawer and pulled out her cell phone, showing it to Bobby with a cynical grin, before shoving it into her back pocket. Bobby watched her walk towards the coffee maker with her travel mug in tow. He grabbed a file off of her desk and took a few quick steps to catch up to her.

"Trade you," he offered, handing her the file as she handed him her mug. He filled it up with hot water as she started to read the first page. One of the other detectives walked by and did a double take.

"Gee Goren, I didn't know it was 'take your daughter to work' day!" He quipped. Without looking up from the case file, Eames raised her middle finger in his general direction. The detective just shook his head and walked away smiling. Looking up, Bobby saw Deakins walk out of his office. Bobby very inconspicuously placed his hand over Alex's, forcing her to retract her offensive hand signal.

"So nice of you to join us Alex, I assume you two are on your way over to meet with Carver?" Deakins asked, shoving his hands deeper into his jacket pockets. Both detectives nodded, and Alex looked up from her reading.

"Let's try to be a little more prompt from now on Alex, okay?" he added, and she nodded.

Bobby gripped the edge of the armrest as Alex slammed on the brakes for the second time in the past five minutes. He could tell her mind was somewhere else.

"Eames, are you sure you don't want me to drive? You seem, a little, distracted," Bobby said hesitantly, not knowing weather she would scream or cry. Much to his surprise she did neither.

"No, I'm fine, really," she replied, glancing over her shoulder before pulling into a parking spot. "Lets go in and talk to Carver," she finished, getting out of the vehicle. Bobby watched her as she walked around to his side, then he got out as well, following her into the building.

Alex walked into Carver's office, with Bobby on her heels. Carver looked up and motioned towards the chairs in front of his desk.

"Goren...Eames?" Carver asked noticing that Alex was considerably shorter and dressed very casually. But before he could continue, Alex opened up their case file and was already discussing business.

Bobby stepped off of the elevator, adjusting his grip on the cardboard box he was carrying. The box was a "present" from Deakins, sent with specific instructions to sort through the contents before the night was through. Bobby sighed, tonight was going to be a long night.

Walking into the squad room, Bobby glanced over towards his desk and almost dropped the box in his arms. Alex had her head down on her desk, and her arms were sprawled out on top of it as well. Not once had he ever seen her fall asleep at work, in fact most of the time it was Alex who woke him up whenever he spent too long studying evidence. Walking quietly, Bobby made his way over to their desks and smiled when he saw that Alex was sleeping on top of the book he had been badgering her to read for about three months now.

"If she is that tired, maybe I should just let her rest," Bobby thought to himself as he sat down at his desk and began sorting through the miscellaneous items in the box, every once in a while glancing over at Alex to make sure that she was still sleeping peacefully.

Alex walked through the front doors, stepping out into the night air, and took a deep breath. Still groggy from her nap, Alex rubbed her eyes and stepped up to the curb, raising her arm lazily, she was immediately greeted by a yellow cab. Adjusting her purse strap, Alex reached for the door handle, and pulled it open, getting into the cab. She had only one foot inside when the driver turned around. Alex gasped and stumbled backwards, almost catching her heel on the bottom of the doorjamb. Without thinking, Alex just ran, ran as fast as she could. The driver stepped out of the cab. Still holding onto the door, he yelled in Alex's direction.

"Alexandra, why are you running? Why are you running? There is NO ONE chasing you."

Alex's breath was haggard now, her leg muscles tightening, but yet she continued to run, his voice steady and loud in her ears.

"Stop running." His voice was stronger, and sounded closer.

Alex whirled around to see nothing but an empty street and man she was running from standing right in front of her. He was strangely taller now, not the geeky doctor with the needle, and this frightened her. He was stronger now; he didn't need anything to help kill her. He planned to do it with his bare hands. She could see it in his eyes, but yet she couldn't move. Her feet were planted firmly on the asphalt, nothing could make her move. His hands gripped her shoulders, and Alex threw up her arms, trying to fight him off.

"Alex…Alex!" his voice faded as she continued to fight. Alex blinked, and in one single second, the street slipped away, leaving her back in the squad room with Bobby gently shaking her shoulder.

"Alex, wake up," his voice shaky with concern. Alex blinked again, and sat up as Bobby's face came into focus.

"Bobby?" Alex asked groggily, sitting up as she brushed her hair behind her ears. Before Alex could say another word, Bobby cut in.

"Are you okay?" He asked, tilting his head a little to the side. Alex across her desk at him, unable to think of anything to say, because 'Oh yeah, I just had another one of my reoccurring nightmares where my OB GYN chases me around New York' just didn't seem like it would help the situation any.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Alex replied, clearing her throat as she closed the book she was reading. Bobby looked across his desk at her, and when she looked up, their eyes met for a mere second. But that was all it took. Bobby could see the fear in her eyes, he didn't know where it came from, and he knew she would never tell him. Bobby stood up, and followed Alex to the coat rack.

"You uh, want to go grab something to eat?" Bobby asked hesitantly, hopping she would accept his offer. Alex paused, holding her coat in her arms, she started at the collar, pulling the coat tighter towards her chest.

"Actually, I think I just need some rest, thanks though," she replied quietly, keeping her head down as she headed towards the doors. Bobby watched in silence as she walked away, not knowing weather he should follow her, or just believe that she was alright.

Alex walked into her apartment, simultaneously throwing her purse on the counter and kicking off her shoes.

The couch was sending out serious sleep rays, but there was so much that Alex had to do tonight, and on top of that, she was in no way looking forward to the dream that would come as soon as her head touched the pillow. Ignoring the couch, Alex glanced over towards her answering machine and its pulsing red light.

"God, please don't let it be Deakins," She begged, not wanting to step foot in that building until morning. Alex pressed the button and walked over to the fridge hoping to find something edible.

"Hey 'Lex, it's Terry. If you're not busy tonight, you wanna go grab a drink or something?"

Alex cringed at the nickname, and the fact that she knew exactly what 'or something' he was thinking of. But it didn't really matter; in fact she was almost up for it. Anything beat triple-zapped pizza and nightmares. She glanced at her watch for a second before picking up the phone and dialing Terry's number.

"Terry can multi-task, I'll give him that," Alex thought, pinned up against the wall outside of Terry's apartment while Terry slipped his key into the lock and opened the door. As soon as he opened the door, Terry reached down and picked Alex up. She let out a noise that only those who wanted to be hurt would have called a squeak. Terry smiled, kissing the base of her neck before bringing her inside.

"Maybe my brain will be too exhausted to dream after this" Alex thought, now on the couch, below Terry. She blinked once and the remainder of her clothes were now spread out across the apartment in a trail leading to his bedroom.

"Maybe…tonight won't be so bad after all."

Alex glanced over towards the clock.

"Great, that only wasted two hours," she muttered, thinking back to the first time that she looked at a clock that evening. Getting up, she grabbed Terry's shirt, slipping her head and arms through as she walked out to the balcony. The air had a slight chill to it, but t felt perfect against her warm skin. Wrapping her arms around herself, she looked around the balcony, off into the distance. In a bout of spontaneity, she lifted herself up onto the edge, throwing her feet over the side as she sat down. It had been ages since she had done something like this, and it was extremely exhilarating.

"Oh Alex," a voice called from behind her, and without thinking, she turned around.

"I really doubted you Alex, you'd think after all we'd been through, you'd stay away from dangerous situations such as this one," he said softly with a menacing smile.

Alex panicked. He was getting closer and she was cornered, and fighting him wouldn't be very easy wearing only Terry's button up shirt.

"Damn," she muttered under her breath, starting to stand up on the ledge.

"Ooh feisty little thing aren't we," he quipped, stepping even closer.

" _We_ aren't feisty," Alex thought to herself, looking over her shoulder at the busy street, ten floors down.

Without warning, he stepped closer, and Alex took one last glance at the street before her feet left the edge.

Alex gasped, pulling herself out of yet another nightmare. Sighing she glanced to her left to see Terry, sleeping soundly by her side.

"I'm not going to leave," she willed herself. "I'm not going to leave."

Alex stared up at the ceiling, forcing her eyes to adjust to the darkness of the room lit only by a few stray streetlights. The night had been long, and it wasn't ending anytime soon. She refused to look at the clock for fear that time had not moved at all. As her eyes relaxed, Alex let her mind drift back to the events of the evening. It had been easy enough to act drunker than she actually was, undercover work being her forte. All she wanted was to get back to his room, and pass the night away.

A few beams of light streamed in the window and as much as she wished it were the moon; she knew better, the city was still awake in the middle of the night.

Taking a deep breath, Alex slowly pulled off the covers, and lifted herself up off of the bed. Glancing around the room, she searched for her clothes.

"That is just my luck," Alex muttered, picking up her shirt and jeans, trying to remember where exactly her underwear had come off.

"Screw it," she though, slipping on her jeans and walking out of the room.

Alex padded out into the kitchen, slipping her shirt over her head, and buttoning up the top buttons as she made her way towards the refrigerator. Opening it up, she grabbed a beer and leaned up against the counter. The chilled bottle felt like ice against her warm skin, and the floor felt about the same temperature. Alex let out a wavering breath, staring down at the opened bottle in her hands. Without thinking, she drank half of the liquid and set the bottle back down on the kitchen counter, ready to be on her way. Scanning the counter, she found her cell phone. Alex fingered the cover for a few seconds before flipping it open and dialing a number she had committed to memory about four years ago. If there was one person who she could call it was him.

The phone rang and rang, all the time she paced the kitchen, waiting. The answering machine finally picked up.

"This is Bobby, leave a message" the voice on the other end of the phone said.

"Bobby, this…" Alex's voice faded away as she stared at her feet. She quickly shut the phone, mentally kicking herself for even thinking about calling.


End file.
